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April 1, 2008
Speed of Light shattered
posted by ari
Today is a great day in the history of the world.
Terracotta announces that we have taken our software's infinite linear scalability to the stars. We have built a light-bending server that can accelerate a small space vessel well past the speed of light, and we tested it in conjunction with the folks behind SpaceShipOne.
We call it SpaceShipTerracotta.
Ari Zilka said, "Last night, I wanted to go to Mars for dinner. I ended up 2 galaxies away before we managed to stop." Zilka continued, "while we have a few bugs to iron out, this is a very exciting invention and we are very pleased with our progress thus far."
NASA Administrator Michael Griffin was quoted as saying, "Terracotta continues to push the technology envelope. First they built JVM-level clustering. Now they passed the speed of light. Those guys are hard to keep up with!"
Terracotta says that its technology will soon be bundled with offerings from Boeing and Airbus. With the Terracotta server onboard, a non-stop flight from Los Angeles to New York (2451 statute miles) would travel at approximately 188,000 miles per second, reaching the other side of the continent in 0.01 seconds.
Mr. Zilka said, "The longest part of your travel is soon to be the time it takes to pack for the trip."
Just kidding. (SpaceShipOne, Nasa, Mr. Griffin, Boeing, and Airbus names used without permission as this is just an April Fools joke.)
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